i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
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