your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
