Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
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