Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
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so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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