We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
