I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
