By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
