So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
