You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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