She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
