so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
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He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
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You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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