i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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