tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
