well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
