We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
