It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
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Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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