where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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