you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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