I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
