But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
sarcasm needs its own font
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
