We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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