I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
