Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Randomize
