also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
