I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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