Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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