he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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