was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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