Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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