just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
