i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
