we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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