The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
