We're facebook friends in real life
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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