she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize