Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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