So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
