Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
