It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
