I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
