Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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