so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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