Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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