Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
