I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Someone shattered a urinal.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
