and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
In America we eat man semen.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
