You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
