You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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