So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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