i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
