Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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