he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
