i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
