I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
