Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
