I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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