He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
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