are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
