i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
