I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
no, he came in my armpit
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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