Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
