Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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