Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize