seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
