The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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