Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
whose ass print is on the piano?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
