I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
